Dealing with Miscarriages

As you all know, before Colton was born and after Ryan was born, in the period of 5 years I had 6 miscarraiges. A year after Ryan was born Danny and I began trying to have more babies, and after 3 months, we were sucessful! I was pregnant, and at 15 weeks we found out it was a girl! We were all so excited, I had been hoping for another girl! But then at 16 weeks I suffered from a miscarraige. My doctor said I had done nothing to cause this, it was just the baby's heart was not developed properly so she could not live. Danny and I were devastated. Brielle, Blake, and Colton were all upset as well, they really wanted another sibling! I was depressed for just over a week, I stayed in bed all day and only got up to use the bathroom. My mother came down from Washington to stay with me and help take care of the kids, because I basically did nothing. Danny took me to the doctor after 9 days, and I was on depression pills and it really helped and I got back into my normal swing of life! I would still cry late at night and had trouble sleeping, but it gradually got better. After a few months I became pregnant again! I was happy, but didn't let myself get my hopes up incase of another misarraige. It was good of me to do that, because it really helped when we found out we lost the baby at only 6 weeks. We didn't even tell the kids about this one, just Danny and my mom new. Well, Danny and I were getting really impatient, we wanted more kids so badly! So as soon as my body was recovered, we tried many times and I became pregnant with another baby! This one we lost at 6 weeks also, but the kids knew about this one. I was depressed once again, losing 3 babies is quite hard on you emotionally and physically. I was in the hospital for a few days, on medication again but I recovered quickly! A few months later I was pregnant again, and it was another girl! I was thrilled, and quite convinced that since the baby had lived to 20 weeks, she would be fine. How wrong I was. I carried her full term, but it ended up being a stillbirth. I was devastated, and was hospitalized for a week. I was on medication, it took me longer to recover but I did! Then, when I was pregnant again, I was doing good! Right when I found out I was pregnant (4 weeks) we went to the doctor the next day, and he said the baby was not forming correctly and he suggested an abortion because there was only a 20% change the baby would make it full term, and then a 10% chance that it would be living. Danny and I decided not to take that risk, and we had an abortion. It was one of the most hardest things to do in my life, killing one of my babies. I still hate to think about it. But then, after a few months, I was pregnant! We found out the gender of the baby, it was a boy, and we were so happy! I carried full-term and had baby Colton! We were all thrilled to finally have another baby! Since then, I have had one other baby, Tristan, and am currently pregnant! I feel great, just like I did with Colton, which is a very good sign. I'm just hoping things go well! :)